Self-Care Tips for the Extroverted Writer

Talk about the most niche title ever, right? Look, the majority of writers are introverted. Every article I come across is geared toward helping or guiding introverted writers; so I decided to help out the extroverts.

You’re a writer. You’re a people person. And you’re in need of some self-care. Come, outgoing writers! Follow me to the land of self-care!

Quick definition for y’all: Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

1. Say no, bro.
   Extroverts love to say yes to all the things, especially if it involves parties, celebrations, events, networking, etc. But we say yes to so many things that our writing takes the back burner. Practice saying no to activities or projects that take away valuable writing time or leave you feeling stressed.
   Fun fact: I don’t always spend my Friday nights with friends. In fact, I usually go to the coffee shop to do rewrites on my novel. Are you willing to say no to a night of people-y fun for a different night of fun?
2. Embrace thy (other) writing space.
   If you do not have a designated writing space, then you need to make that a priority right meow. Your dining room table doesn’t count as a writing space. That said, I highly recommend finding a writing space that isn’t at your home so you can be surrounded by people and get out of the house. This can be a coffee shop, bookstore, restaurant—whatever. But when we’re writing, being surrounded by other people helps us feel part of a community—even if no one else is writing. Weird, I know. Bonus: You can eavesdrop on conversations to use in your writing. Or if you’re like me, you can make new friends in the coffee shop at the same time.
3. Forgive, and tell the world.
   When you don’t meet your writing goal, you need to forgive yourself. I get that this isn’t an extrovert-only problem, but I believe the solution is different. When you’re behind on your word count, when you’re stuck in the land of plot holes, or when you’re experiencing writer’s block (ahem, writer’s procrastination), then you need to talk about it. Get on Facebook Live or Instagram Live and tell your people what you’re going through. Talk it out. Ask them how they deal with these issues as writers. Be loud and proud about your shortcomings.
4. Cherish your like-minded friends.
   If you’re a writer, then you need writer friends. I cannot even begin to describe how much better I’m doing in my personal writing now that I have a group of delightfully weird, crazy writer friends. They keep me accountable and they encourage me every day. If you want to be at the top of the self-care ladder, then get coffee with writers.
5. Say “Bye, Boy!” to toxic friends.
   I get it. You’re outgoing. You can make friends with anyone, anywhere. But it doesn’t mean all of them are good friends for you. If you spend time with people who don’t support your passion for writing, that’s taking a toll on your mind. Get rid of them. I cannot say this enough, so I’mma say it one more time: If you are friends with people who make fun of your writing/don’t get it/don’t respect what you do/change the subject when you mention your story, then say BYE, BOY.
6. Pamper yourself.
   It’s an article on self-care. Did you really think I’d leave out spas and such? In all seriousness, it’s a hard job being the life of the party. You’ve got a lot going on. So if you want your writing to be top-notch, then find some time to relax. Go get a mani/pedi, visit a spa, get a massage, or just soak in the tub. Think of what helps you to really relax, and find time each week to make that happen. You gotta be in the right frame of mind to write, ya know.
7. Meditate. Oooooom . . . Oooooom . . .
   I know, I know. I want you to actually practice silence. Gasp! But hear me out: I feel more energetic after I’ve taken some time to chill out. You can define meditating however you want, but here’s what I do: Go on my back porch, read my devotional, pray for the people on my prayer list, read the Writer’s Devotional, Pep Talks for Writers, or some poetry, and sip my Crystal Lite. That’s what quiet time is like for me. What’s quiet time going to be like for you?
8. Turn off notifications. All a’ dem.
   Wait, wait, wait. Don’t freak out yet. Just listen. Extroverts adore social media. I mean, this is our thing, yo. So it’s obvious that #allthenotifications are on our smartphones for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, etc. But I want you to turn them off. I did this a couple of months ago, and I’m a different person. I’m not checking it nearly as often, and I’m more productive because I’m not glued to my phone every time a notification comes on. Could it be that I’m more productive in my own writing because I turned off social media notifications? Uh, yeah. Straight up.
9. Be the life of the party at writerly events.
   Extroverted writers need to be attending workshops, conferences, retreats, book signings, book festivals, and anything else they can find on Meetup/social media. While introverts find their energy through solitude, extroverts get their energy from people. So go be around like-minded people and make tons of friends. Besides, you need some new ones after you accomplished #5.
10. Throw kindness like confetti.
    Writers need to help out other writers. Just think of how good it feels to write a review for a new author, to take an Instagram-worthy photo of their book, or to simply help them reach a goal for their book launch. You get to have a tiny part in their amazing career. Wouldn’t you want people to do that for you? Then show kindness toward your writer friends, and help them out. Need some ideas? Boom: https://shaylaraquel.com/blog/howtosupportauthors
11. Yell “Victory is mine!” to your online friends.
    I’m not saying you have to use a Stewie Griffin voice, but I’m not not saying that, either. When you hit a milestone in your writing, tell the world. You’ve talked to them about your writing failures, so tell them about your victories. It’s good for the writer’s soul to celebrate some wins.
12. Lure in an accountability partner with candy.
    For the Yukon Writers’ Society, we did an accountability partner challenge, and it was an absolute blast. Every day, I messaged Maddie, a member of the group, and asked her how things were going with her urban fantasy story. Then, every day, Mark would message me and ask, “Have you hugged your character today?” It always made me smile and it reminded me to get my butt in the chair and get to work on my novel. You need an accountability partner. Maybe you could find one if you did #9?
13. Organize yourself before you wreck yourself.
    I don’t know what the stats are on organized extroverts vs. organized introverts, but I’m going to cover this anyway. Your writing space needs to be organized to some degree, okay? I’m not saying the whole house has to be squeaky clean—just your writing space. If it’s more organized, you’re more apt to find your laptop or journal and oh, I don’t know . . . write. Plus, this gives you the chance to buy snazzy office supplies at Target and chat up random strangers, who could then potentially be good material for a minor character.
14. Challenge yourself and your writer friends.
    Spice up your writing life with a challenge, and ask your writer friends to do it with you. It’ll be more fun with a group. If you need some ideas, you could do the 2-Day Writing Marathon or try the Writerly Bucket List. You’ll get more writing done while spending time with like-minded friends. Hooray!
15. Go for a walk without music or a podcast.
    The best self-care I know of is a little bit of exercise. It gets the mind in the right place before the fingers begin to type. It doesn’t have to be CrossFit, okay? Just take the dog for a short walk around the neighborhood. No music, no podcast—just silence. Thank me later.

An expert editor, seasoned writer, and author-centric marketer, Shayla Raquel works one-on-one with authors and business owners every day. A lifelong lover of books, she has edited over 300 books and has launched several Amazon bestsellers for her clients. Her award-winning blog teaches new and established authors how to write, publish, and market their books. She is the author of the Pre-Publishing Checklist, The Rotting (in Shivers in the Night), and her novel-in-progress, The Suicide Tree. She lives in Oklahoma with her two dogs, Chanel and Wednesday.

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